Marriage in the Mirror

It’s funny the things you remember. I recall meeting some of my wife’s family for the first time, an aunt and uncle and her grandfather, Paul. Paul was a towering giant of a man, a semi-pro baseball catcher in the days of Ty Cobb and Walter Johnson. I sat on a sofa opposite him while the others were chatting in the kitchen nearby. Over years his sight had deteriorated and he walked with a cane. He knew all about me from my fiancée, and I thought her report would cushion my visit. I was wrong. We sat silent for a time, and then, leaning toward me, he pointed his cane to my feet, made eye contact and said, “You take care of her. She’s something special.”

Gramps, who passed away several years ago, was not a believer. But he instinctively understood that marriage works when the husband takes care of the wife, in the same way, with the same care that Christ takes care of His Church. We do well to point couples in our churches to this working model of a successful marriage, helping them understand how the love of Christ and the devotion of His Church translates into the roles of husband and wife.

As shepherds we’re trained to keep watch over our flocks. That’s who we are, that’s what we do. The danger is that, in the good-hearted quest to rescue others, we lose sight of ourselves and of our own marriages. I am thankful for what God has shown me in the mirror.